Hobbies are for people who want more friends...

G-unit.

Sorry it's been so long, I was more than a bit under the weather recently. Apparently going hot tubbin' in the winter isn't such a good idea after all. Who knew though?

I guess our life of friendship has come down to making legal contracts and agreements that have to be notorized prior to the engagement, but if that is what it takes to get you out of your hobbit hole, then so be it my friend of many hair styles.

You don't have to worry about sitting in the front, Sean has motion sickness, yeah I know...what a baby. BUT! I've ate at about five different fast food places in the last week and made sure to keep all the garbage in the back for you...a little shrine to your love of left over fries and receipts perhaps? I also have like half a wardrobe and some really old cosmo's back there..at least you'll be well dressed, well fed, and really up to date on bedside astrology if nothing else.

I won't leave you alone, only when i have to pee, and well we both know that isn't a long venture. But just incase of emergency can you please take your agoraphobia meds this time? All I can say is this. If you encounter anyone with a helmet, put it on first so you don't hurt your head when you go crashing to the floor while you are laying there in the fetal position asking for your mom. It's not that I don't care about your unhealthy fear of public places and people, it's just that I only wiegh 115 lbs and I hate all the questions I get afterwards when people are astonished that I can actually scoop you up and put you over my shoulder with such ease. It's that whole center of attention thing, I can't handle it sometimes.

When the hell did you get shingles?...i'm actually kind of re-evaluating the need to hang out with you anymore.

You'll be too full on five week old hamburger rinds that you won't even think to ask for anything to eat, let alone want to dip it in anything. But If you're using some sort of code language for ectasy and chewing tobacco, then I'll make sure I kick you in the crotch and tell you to go wash your mouth out with soap...that is a little more scary don't you think? Better yet, why don't you just speak only when spoken to? That way we can make sure you don't say anything you wish you could take back.

I explained that whole thing to your dad...he said that he forgives you and if you had only cleaned the pool out after you were done that none of this would be an issue..he's lifted your grounding for the night, back to your regular curfew of 12. But since it's a special occasion, I've derived a plan to sneak you in past midnight. It does involve ducktape, fishing line, your chevy metro and your brother and sister have to help, but your parents will be none the wiser, believe me.

After all these regulations I'm thinking that it will be a good night if we get out that place without you getting a thousand calls on your cell phone regarding your where abouts and me keeping my pants in tact. I am really excited to see you though. For real. And I got new contacts, so I actually will be able to make out your face this time, instead of just staring at your head like some orb floating in front of me...You blame that on the alcohol, i stick strongly to the fact that my prescription was way old.

Lets make sure we document this on the old memory card, I can never have enough pictures of your wonderful face, or you peeing your pants.

My whopper is getting cold, so I must go to that instead of God. He understands.

Kisses.

KB.

Sharpie can't be erased, but can be scribbled out

Kaybilly:

If we're going to hang out on Saturday, you need to get a few things straight before I jump in your Jeep for a journey to the ol' Foot.

(1) I am NOT sitting in front. I don't care how much Sean complains or offers me, I will not be riding shotgun. I made it perfectly clear that sitting on your McDonalds wrappers in the back is the right place for me.

(2) I better not be left alone to talk to a guy who is way cooler than I, while he holds a PBR in his left and his scooter helmet in the right. Just not happening sister.

(3) If you so even begin to mention my shingles, I'm out of there.

(4) If at any point in the evening I ask for chips and dip, pinch my cheek and call me a jerk. From there, we can salvage the night, but it won't be the same.

(5) I need you to have me home by 10:30, I'm grounded.

You've delt with more, so I'm assuming these things will be easy for you to comply with. Any concerns should be submitted in writing at least 24 hours prior to the day of the event.

Go to God.

G O R D O