I don't take no sick days.

I don't feel good.

If you have ever wondered why I love my job, it is because of people like the dude above. Working for the Loop has opened my eyes to a whole new class of people that simply make me feel great about life.

For the sake of the story, we'll call this man "Knuckles" and here's his rap...

Every once in awhile, I have to go cover random events for the station (do the job I used to do) when we have people on vacation or too many events that day or whatever. It's fine. I did that stuff for a long time and I'm good at it. With that said though, I have been out of the "on-site" game for awhile now and my tough leathered skin has been softened by the cushion of a desk chair. Like I said, I only fill in once in a rare while.

You learn very quickly when dealing with radio listeners on a daily basis, that they are a certain breed. And by radio listeners, I don't mean the people who casually flip stations in their car on their way to work. The people I am talking about are the die-hards. The people that will engage you in hour long conversations about them listening to the Loop "long before you was even a thought in yo' momma's head" while you are doing an appearance at Advanced Auto Parts in Joliet. Or the guy who rolls up in the parking lot of Menards, honking and screaming and hanging out his rolled-down window at the Loop Hummer before he realizes that no one is in fact in said Hummer. THOSE PEOPLE. And it is because of those people that I have a job and I love them for that...but...over time you develop a thick skin protection from them. You maintain an arsenal of one-liners and comebacks to their textbook "Where's Johnny B?!" and the "You're too ugly to be the Rock Girl!", etc etc etc. You have to. At the height of my event working career, I would shoot them down in a split second. If they were approaching me, I had already heard everything they were going to say at least 30 times in the past week. It's what we do.

So insert current situation. Last week, I had to cover a live broadcast from a bar in Palatine while one of my guys was on vacation. I enjoy the live broadcasts because that's what I do for the most part now...coordinate and produce these live shows. That, and they are the most challenging events that we do on a weekly basis. They are long events, but rewarding when done correctly.

We were about an hour into our broadcast when I realized that I had become soft. I had been out of the dealing with listeners (listeners defined above) game too long. From the stage, I saw Knuckles come moshing his way into the bar and owning that bitch. He came straight for me. I was panic stricken. I tensed up and looked for anything to make me look busy but unfortunately, he was too quick for me. He got to me and stuck out both fists...for me to knuckle pound him of course. So I did and by the end of the show, had done so about 26 times (two fists at once). Shortly after the first "pounding", he was showing me his tats and pictures of "his girl" and so on and so forth. It was obvious that we were becoming friends. A year ago, I would have made contact, shot him down, and sent him on his way. But no, not this time. I was stuck. I showed too much fake interest in his craaaaazy life and I was stuck. He didn't leave the side of the stage for the rest of the show. He "wanted to take all the Loop in that he could".

About an hour before we were done...Knuckles calls me over and tells me that he has something he needs to show me. I get weirded out and say, nah I'm cool. He insists and I tell him that I am not going anywhere with him. He yells "aww hell no dude, it ain't like that!", which I already knew but was just checking. He then rolls his lip down and shows me his pride and joy.

No, fuck YOU asshole.